Honestly I am feeling a bunch of different mixed feelings...
Because she asked me, and she was a lesbian, and I knew she was my friend for a while, and I like her, but I'm not sure if sexuality is a problem here.
First I thought I liked guys... I still do...
But... I just wanted someone to care for, I thought it would be cute...
I'm not sure how long this will go, since this is about the first day...
I'm not sure why my best friend left me out of the blue like that either... I just feel like something may be wrong with her...
Maybe she is not used to accepting the fact that I tell my friends that I have plans with other friends, and I seem not to let people what I'm doing.
I may be a bit ignorant that way...
But I feel like I should just be alone right now...
I spent time with my girlfriend today, and when my best friend was taking a shower, I ended up leaving her forgetting to tell her that I was going to eat somewhere.
I haven't seen her since.
I've texted her, and stuff, but she just texted me that Jake thinks I'm a dumbass.
And I'm thinking "What does that have to do with anything that I've been doing?!"
It was just completely irrelevant... maybe she was just being ignorant or making me feel bad.
I don't know if my bff knows that I'm going out with a girl.
If she does know, how does she feel?
Why won't she text me back?
Is there something wrong with me?
I thought I was straight for a while, but I just feel like I'm in love with her too... and I don't want to loose something like this.
I'm just thinking that I should concern myself with my longterm friends rather than my new relationships... but idk what I did wrong...
I feel like instead of getting a girlfriend, I might of lost my best friend...
What do I do?
So lonely... yet... I feel like love everytime I see my girl... :/
Lots of mixed feelings only seem to create lonliness.








first
I am really happy you found some one to tae care of and that take cares of you..besides your bestfreind....uhmm...well yeah, that is the other part, maybe she is kinda.... shocked that you never told her? maybe? no? okay or she likes you more than you think...maybe she is trying to understand, but i know she will, so don't worry about it ^^
Sometimes I have abandonment issues... and sometimes I need to be isolated for a long time... :L It's really weird...
I told my gf I was going to be alone for a while... because I'm still very confused and lonely... I hate college and never want to see another project or assignment in my life... ever... I feel like I can only hold out for so long, but with my parents gone, I feel so alone...
i am sure at the end everything will go splendid ^^
But I'm actually happy that I'm not hers anymore...
so yeah get really well
I don't think I'm lesbian, becuase I seem to have crushes on guys and girls, but i had a big crush on a guy before, and he turned me on a lot from time to time...
But I think sexual organs can be disgusting...
So maybe I'm pansexual...
I don't think I should label myself though...
And maybe I should just let God decide what I'm going to do...
I feel like I should go look for my best friend Annemarie, but I texted her and she is ignoring me... or maybe she is in trouble...
I just hope she isn't hurt...
I've been friends with her for nearly ten or twelve years... But I don't know why she would just leave me, with her purse left behind and all this shit...
I feel a little bit stupid too...